Why Responsibility Quotient?

The Beginning

I first contemplated the notion of responsibility fourteen years ago when I made the decision to get sober. During this dark time in my life, while I was able to pay my bills, buy groceries, and maintain employment (although this was dicey at times), all areas of my life were in turmoil. If you have ever struggled with alcohol addiction, or any other self-destructive behaviour, you might be able to relate to what I experienced. The hallmark of an alcoholic is the tendency to blame others, anyone else, except oneself, for the circumstances in which one finds themselves. I was no different. I thought, “if only you understood what I had to go through, you’d understand why I drink”, or “if only you knew what others had done to me, you would tolerate my behaviour”. Those were common excuses I would make to justify the misery I was experiencing and the ripple effect of my decisions.  

By the time I stopped drinking, I no longer trusted my decisions because I couldn’t trust myself. What do I mean by this? Being in active addiction is a full-time preoccupation. Most of my days were either spent recovering from a bender the night before, trying to piece together all that might have occurred, or plotting my next drinking binge. This type of thinking consumed me. Most of my important decisions related to finances and relationships, for example, fell by the wayside.  Rather than stand up and take responsibility, I turned to people in my life, my trusted advisors, to make the decisions for me. I was literally a non-player character in my own life! Unfortunately, following their advice often times didn’t make me happy or fulfilled. Why? Because these decisions, although well intentioned by those making them, may have seemed right for the trusted advisor but they were not right for me. This led to resentment and conflict with my trusted advisors and within me. The big turning point for me during my recovery was when I started making all of my own decisions for better or worse, damned the consequences.  

When I started to make my own decisions and take personal responsibility for the results, I began to experience little wins that turned into big wins. Over time, these wins helped rebuild my confidence, and I began to trust myself again. While not all decisions I made were good, correct, or fruitful, they were mine, and I was able to incorporate the tools I had been provided through a 12-Step Program, to weather whatever happened, be that good or bad.  

It wouldn’t be for another five years into my recovery that I would truly appreciate the importance of taking personal responsibility, why this step was critical for not only self improvement, but also for living a fulfilling and happy life. Eventually, I came to understand that the outcomes I desired in my life were being limited by my failure to change my behaviour and accept personal responsibility for all aspects of my life, including personal and professional relationships.  Later, I would learn that this notion of responsibility would also be critical within a broader sense, including my responsibility within society.  I discovered that personal responsibility was a critical component in all matters. In essence, the peace, love, and success I experienced in my life, or the inverse, was directly proportional to my willingness to change and take personal responsibility.

I’ve learned that choosing wisely and accepting personal responsibility also requires discernment, judgment and accountability.  This interplay requires a moral underpinning rooted in something.  For instance, what underpins my ability to judge a situation will depend upon my worldview and social pressures, which in turn, influences what I am prepared to take responsibility for, how I am to be held to account and by what standard. Judgment and discernment are critical elements to how personal responsibility is exercised.

These days, “responsibility” is bandied about and has become cliche in many regards.  It has almost become a meaningless term, like “expert” or “democracy”, for instance. However, when viewed as a virtue, “an example or kind of moral excellence”^[1], its measure, obligation and consequence is vast. It becomes the quotient or quality that makes all the difference. Indeed, responsibility is more than meeting a deadline or following a law in pursuit of being a good or compliant citizen.  Responsibility is a virtue and is the ability to discern between good and bad, or right or wrong, and make decisions accordingly.  The correct decisions. If we are to truly embrace the virtue of personal responsibility as the quotient to affect change, we have to go deeper.

In this Substack, I hope to cover topics directly related to social and cultural issues and the interplay with personal responsibility. I’ll delve into geopolitics, globalism, cancel culture and more.

Check out the ResponsibilityQuotient Podcast on Rumble or at Katherine Kowalchuk.

Katherine Kowalchuk, Wife, Mother, and Lawyer in Alberta, Canada

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^[1] The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5^th Edition.